THS Presents...The Man Page
Some of Our Favorite Cars
LP's Monte Carlo
Bobkat's Vette
HOMRS
Vehicle
in
Action
Boomer
Sooner's 1970
Dodge Charger
Below you'll find some pictures of Scott Fitzgibbon's NHRA
cars.  The red one is the car he is drove in 2006 and the blue
is the vehicle he ran in 2005.  Scott is the son-in-law of Da
Swami.  Let's all keep an eye on Scott's NHRA career.
Bikinis of the Week
Girls Jumping on Trampolines!!!!
Nascar Crash Pictures
Humor
The Maine Turnpike began a new program this summer where they
handed out
flyers titled "Welcome To Vacationland. " These flyers will be handed
out to
all cars with license plates from Massachusetts, Connecticut, New York,
and
New Jersey. The flyers state the following rules for visiting Maine:

1. That slope-shouldered farm boy you are snickering at did more work
before breakfast than you did all week in the gym.

2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slowly you drive, you're
going to get dust on your BMW. We have four wheel drive because we
need it.
Now drive, or get out of the way.

3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine years old.
Yeah, we
saw "Bambi." We got over it.

4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get
your
butt kicked...by our women.

5. Pull your pants up, and turn that hat around. You look like an idiot.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their
final approach, we will shoot it. You best pray that it's not up by your
ear at that time!

7. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order
it
rare. Order a two-pound lobster and steamers. Or, if you still want
vegetables, you can order the Chef Salad and pick off the two pounds
of ham
and turkey covering it.

8. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of
sugar
and a long spoon.

9. If you bring Coke into our houses, it had better be brown, wet, and
served over ice.

10. So you have a $60,000 car. yippee. We're real impressed. We have
quarter-million dollar skidders to pull logs out of the woods.

11. Let's get this straight: we have one stoplight in town. We stop when
it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow. Hell, we may even stop
when
it's green if we see something interesting across the road.

12. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks because they want to. So
you say
you're a feminist. Isn't that cute? For the record, Margaret Chase Smith,
Olympia Snowe, and Susan Collins have all represented Maine in the
U.S.
Senate. How many women have represented your feminist-enlightened
state?

13. Yeah, we eat lobster, scallops, clams, and haddock, too. If you want
sushi and caviar, they're available at the bait shop.

14. They are called pigs and cows.That's what they smell like. Get used
to
it. If you don't like it, there are two lanes on the Maine Turnpike and
Route One...take the southbound one.

15. "Opening Day" refers to the first of fishin' and deer season. They are
religious holidays. You can get breakfast at the church...at 3 A.M.

16. So what if everyone in a pickup waves at you? It's called being
friendly. How does that concept rate where you come from?

17. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit the water hazards. It spooks
the
fish and the turtles.

18. Chowder is supposed to be white. Don't even think of asking for red
chowder until you're somewhere safely south of White Plains.

19. All the boats in Maine point in the same direction because that's
what
harbor masters are trained to do.

20. The farthest you got is Ogunquit? That isn't real Maine. That's
northern Massachusetts.

21. Yeah, the paper mills emit a smell like rotting cabbage. Do you want
it
closed down? Bad odor means good people are working.

22. Bar Harbor, Camden, and Kennebunkport are really tourist traps
which no
self-respecting Mainer visits, but won't tell you that because we want
your
money. Besides, how else will we unload all those "authentic" Maine
artifacts that were made in Taiwan?

23. You'll notice when there are seagulls flying overhead, the locals
don't
stop to look up at them because of two things: bird poop and gravity.

24. Cars with Massachusetts license plates are treated with great
respect,
and given a wide berth, as everyone knows Massholes can't drive.

25. Unless followed by the word "Sucks," the word "Yankees" should
never
appear on an article of clothing within the Northern Territory of Red Sox
Nation.

Welcome to Maine...The Way Life Should Be.

Now Go Home.
Top Ten Reasons Men Prefer Guns Over Women

#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

#9. You can keep one gun at home and have another
for when you're on
the road.

#8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will
probably let
you try it out a few times.

#7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another
gun for a backup.

#6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of
ammo.

#5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

#4. Guns function normally every day of the month.

#3. A gun doesn't ask, "Do these new grips make me
look fat?"

#2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use
it.

And the number one reason a gun is favored over a
woman.... Drumroll, please!

#1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN.
DUI - NORTH CAROLINA STYLE

Only a person in North Carolina could think of this. From the county
where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story.

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Kinston, North
Carolina after last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so
apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.  The man stumbled
around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly
observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on
five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it.

He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar
and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and
off--it was a fine, dry summer night--, flicked the blinkers on and off a
couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He
moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then
remained still for a few more  minutes as some more of the other
patrons' vehicles left.

At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out
and drove slowly down the road.  The police officer, having waited
patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing
lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer
test.  

To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man
had consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll
have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer
equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the truly proud Redneck. "Tonight I'm the designated
decoy."